Three components of successful communication
Usually we pursue to some goal in communication. It exists even in a casual conversation - this is getting fun. When it comes to business communication, the goal becomes priority. We begin to talk about the effectiveness of communication. There are several simple methods of its improvement. The successful communication consists of them, by the way.
The ability to listen or active listening
How does the ability to listen help? To get more information and, consequently, better results.
Let's start with the first - externalization. Attentive listening actuates the interviewee to talk more, with enthusiasm and loyalty to the listener, thereby increasing the efficiency of communication. Therefore, active listening is not simply a process of obtaining information, but also continuous feedback. Every moment the interviewee sees as we listen. This ability is demonstrated in the inclination of the head, agreement, nodding, as well as mini-questions, which are addressed to the last word or the whole phrase speaker. Participating, in the monologue in fact, we create a full two-way communication.
The second point - so-called internal. This is the correct approach to the operational analysis of the received information. If you, as psychologists say, the auditory channel of perception does not prevail, the uptake of information through the ears might not be the most effective. For example, many have developed visual channel, and if you belong to this type, it is necessary to use it. For example, talking with someone, you can take a piece of paper and write down some important theses or draw diagrams. Thus, we converse the information in the channel, which is the most optimal for us. It is the ability to listen as well.
Summing up: First, you need to carefully listen to the interlocutor, and be able to show it. Secondly, if your auditory channel is not leading, you need to connect additional. This will help you in the analysis of incoming information.
Non-judgmental expression of thoughts
Each of us has its own system of beliefs and values, which is laid by the parents, social environment and life experience. Therefore, communicating, people do not just transmit the information, but also, saturating the words with emotional tone, expressing their attitude to it. This is called the estimating/judgemental transmission of information.
What can be the effects of such communication? If anything in the system of beliefs and values of the interlocutor does not coincide with our own, the conversation will go into the plane to protect of the beliefs. For example, the phrase "You are as always late," may cause a desire to justify or attack. Especially if the person has a belief that it is bad to be late. As a result, no constructive conversation.
That is why in business communication it is necessary to construct sentences in such a way that they spoke only about the facts. It should be noted that even in unemotional conversation the choice of words and construction of sentences can demonstrate our attitude. For example, we can name the person both as a "cost-effective" and "greedy". But, fortunately, our language is rich in synonyms …
And so, the task of those who want to improve personal effectiveness: first, to expand synonymous stock, which will more clearly to find the right expression, and secondly, to present the facts, regardless of the own beliefs and sentiments.
Interlocutor importance raising
We are talking about compliments. Such a simple element of communication allows our interlocutor feel his significance. There are direct and indirect compliments.
Direct is when we just talk about the qualities or appearance of a person. But the pitfalls can be in this case. For example, we say: "You have a very nice tie," and if in fact this man is tired of the tie, compliment will not create the desired effect. Therefore, it makes sense to make an indirect compliment, and, most neutral and non-judgmental. An example is the use of words such as: fun, interesting, original. But compliments are only part of the process of raising the profile of the person. If you talk about the psychological approach, there is such a thing as an existential position of the person that begins in childhood. There are 4 options:
I "minus" - You "minus"
I "plus" - You "minus",
I "minus" - You "plus",
I "plus" - You "plus".
If my main belief is that I do not conform to this world, i.e. all bad and everything in this world is bad, the conversation will be based on the principle: I "minus" - You "minus".
If I think that is always right, and everyone else is to blame, then this is the position: I "plus" - You "minus". And the raising of the importance of the interlocutor is not applicable in this case.
Option I "minus" - You "plus", at first glance, raises the importance of the other, but at the cost of belittling of myself. So it is often that either we feel uncomfortable, or our interlocutor in such a situation.
But the principle I “plus” - You “plus” – is the key to a constructive dialogue. Here the sides are equal partners. Being in such position, we are raising the importance of the person we communicate with, and relate it to the specific facts. For example: "I really like how you used the passage in your essay". Such compliments deeper, because they are based on real events, which means that we can clearly explain to someone what we liked and in what form. The result is not a superficial compliment that can be perceived as flattery, and based on facts raise the profile of the interlocutor.
Lyakhovich Nikolay
april 2010
